一定要学会英美人这样说话的礼貌和委婉

In sociolinguistics and conversation analysis (CA), politeness strategies are speech acts that express concern for others and minimize threats to self-esteem ("face") in particular social contexts.

在社会语言学角度与会话分析角度下，礼貌策略指的是一种在特定社会背景下表达对他人的感受且将威胁自尊（面子）降低至最小程度的说话方式。

Positive politeness strategies are intended to avoid giving offense by highlighting friendliness. These strategies include juxtaposing criticism with compliments, establishing common ground, and using jokes, nicknames, honorifics, tag questions, special discourse markers (please), and in-group jargon and slang.

积极礼貌策略旨在强调友善以避免冒犯，其中包括：扬抑并举、建立共同点、笑话、昵称、敬语、附加疑问句、特殊话语标记（如：请）、圈内行话等。

Negative politeness strategies are intended to avoid giving offense by showing deference. These strategies include questioning, hedging, and presenting disagreements as opinions.

消极礼貌策略旨在表示尊敬以避免冒犯，其中包括：询问、说话留余地、用提议的方式表示反对。

Examples and Observations

举例与评析

“Shut up!” is rude, even ruder than “Keep quiet!” In the polite version, “Do you think you would mind keeping quiet: this is, after all, a library, and other people are trying to concentrate,” everything in italics is extra. It is there to soften the demand, giving an impersonal reason for the request, and avoiding the brutally direct by the taking of trouble.

“闭嘴”这种说法很粗鲁，甚至比“保持肃静”还粗鲁。用礼貌的话来说，应该是“你介意保持安静吗？毕竟这里是图书馆，大家都是来这里专心学习的。”斜体的部分都是多余的。句中的斜体词都是为了缓和语气之用，给出一个非个人的原因，避免产生麻烦。

再让我们多看一些例子

"Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of Secrets."

“教授，你能多跟我们讲讲《哈利波特与密室》这部电影吗？”

"Would you mind stepping aside? I got a purchase to make."

“麻烦让一让好吗？我要买这个东西。”

"'Sir,' the gentleman asked with a twang in his voice that was unmistakably Southern, 'would it bother you terribly if I joined you?'"

“‘先生’，这位男士的声音里带有鼻音，没有猜错的话应该是南方口音，‘我加入你们会给麻烦你们吗？’”

"'Laurence,' said Caroline, 'I don't think I'm going to be much help to you. I've had enough holiday-making. I'll stay for a couple of days but I want to get back to London and do some work, actually. Sorry to change my mind but--'”

“‘劳伦斯’，凯罗林说，‘我恐怕帮你不了你太多。我的假期已经够长了。我还会再留几天，但是我真的想回伦敦工作了。很抱歉我改变了心意，但是……’”

总结一下上文几个例子中出现的礼貌委婉用语：

1、用来提出建议，可以说：

I was wondering if you could...

2、用来提出要求，可以说：

Do you think you would mind...

Would you mind...

Would it bother you (terribly/heavily...) to...

3、用来推脱，可以说：

I don't think...

Sorry to...but...

4、用来提出不同看法，可以说：

I don't think...